Onion News Empire

Jeffrey Tambor

David Bryant

Christopher Masterson

Sam West

Aja Naomi King

Jillian

William Sadler

Ed Musgrove

Laila Robins

Helena Zweibel

Cheyenne Jackson

Cameron Grey

Mabel L'Ecuyer

Courtney Carter

Jolly Abraham

Abigail

Jodi Applegate Kay

Daytime News Anchor (as Jodi Applegate-Kay)

Charles Techman

Kip O'Rourke

Jonathan Marballi

Terrorist

Harriett D. Foy

Vivian

Jack Gilpin

Archibald Zweibel

James Caulfield

Father Zweibel

Tanner Flood

Kid

Darrie Lawrence

Old Lady

Therese Plaehn

Producer

Michael Crowe

Kidnapper (uncredited)