Hayseed

Jamie Shannon

Gordie

Deborah Theaker

Judy

Stuart Bailey

Andy Warhol

Christine Bellini

Marge

Paul Bellini

Gordie's Dad

Sarain Boylan

Heidi

Bruce Deller

Mr. Black Laquer

Marc Hickox

Emile

Elva Mai Hoover

Auntie Charity

Alex Karzis

Slim

Bruce LaBruce

Mr. Chartreuse

Dan Lett

Liam Burbage

Daniel MacIvor

Mr. Taupe

Shelly Mars

Rita

Steve McKay

Speedo (voice)

Mark McKinney

Alien Doctor

Trout McNally

Baby

Dan Redican

The Saddest Man in the World

Jeff Rogers

Trevor

Scott Thompson

J.D. Wood